A few days ago a friend and fellow autism mom, Kate (Finding Coopers Voice) shared something really tough…

She shared that her son started hitting … and she wasn’t sure what to say… she wasn’t sure if she should share what happened. ..

As I sat there reading her words I instantly started crying…. One of the main reasons I love to follow Kate and their autism journey with Cooper is because she is real…. she’s raw. She shares the good, the bad, the scary and the silly… She shares ALL aspects of autism and I have so much respect for her because of it.

It’s tough to talk about the hard stuff… it’s tough to talk about the bad days… the behaviors… the stares/comments … the self injurious behaviors, the anxiety … and it’s extremely difficult when your child hits.. whether it’s themselves, you, their sibling…

IT. IS. HARD.

And as Kate mentioned on her page… we don’t want our children to be labeled as “monsters”… or worse.

Because they’re not!

I wanted to write and share our experience with hitting because I want Kate to know that she is NOT alone….

I want YOU to know that you are not alone!

Ethan, our Bubba, is one of the sweetest and kindest boys you’ll ever meet. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He loves to laugh, he loves to play, and loves when people around him are happy too!

But sometimes… it happens….

He hits….

It can be during a melt down… it could be when he’s overwhelmed or overstimulated by something around him, when he’s upset or angry….. or when he can’t communicate with us…. and sometimes it happens when he’s happy!

Yes, even when he’s happy!

But no matter why or when it happens.. it startles you…. It kind of stops you in your tracks…

And more times than not…. it stops him too…

He gets this look on his face of sadness…. confusion…. a sort of “what just happened” look…

And it breaks your heart into a thousand pieces..

How I wish so badly I could get inside his little head and understand exactly what’s going on so I can help him more. ..

Unfortunately we can’t do that …

But what we CAN do is help them through it the best way we can. .. be there for them… offer our support….. our love, our time.

Different things work for different people. Sometimes we take a break in a quiet area or spend time in his sensory room. We let him know we are there for him. We also try to think about what happened right before the hitting and try to see if we can figure out why it may have happened.

I wish there was a right answer but the truth is, we do our best. We try new things and we do whatever we can to help them and keep them safe.

I think it’s important for us to talk about the hard stuff and that’s why I wanted to share this today. …..

But always remember that our children NEED us…. they LOVE us… and we love them more than anything! We might not always understand how or why certain things happen, but we are their hugs and kisses… their calm… and their comfort. We are their safe place. ..

Never forget that.