“Are you ok mommy?”

As my son whispered those words looking at me with those big blue eyes, I could feel my heart skip a beat and tears filled my eyes.

I’ve been really good at hiding my anxiety and putting on a happy face, even when I’m falling apart on the inside.

And this is typically where I say “yes, I’m ok buddy” and give him a big bear hug and a kiss on his forehead.

But today was different.

I felt an overwhelming tug on my heart to be real and raw in this moment with him. I placed his soft little hands in mine and said “Mommy is having a tough day.”

He immediately wrapped his arms around me and squeezed his body into mine. “I’m sorry mommy, I feel bad for you.”

My son is one of the most empathetic and kind hearted little boys you will ever meet. I believe having a brother with autism has helped shape him into the caring, selfless and genuine person he is.

I explained to him that he did not have to feel bad for me and that we all experience hard days sometimes.

That we all have moments where we feel like we can’t do anything right and we’re overwhelmed with worry and stress.

Moments where we just want to be left alone to crawl under a blanket and block out the world for a little while.

Moments where we feel like giving up.

As we sat at the dining room table sharing our feelings and emotions, there was a weight that lifted from my shoulders.

I took a few minutes to pause and sit in this vulnerable space with my son.

Just the two of us, holding hands and talking.

As we finished our conversation, we were both smiling ear to ear and we leaned in for another much needed hug.

I held him tight and reminded him that not every day is going to be this hard.

That we’re going to continue to work through the difficult days and remember to give each other grace when we need it.

When things in life get hard and we’re on the verge of giving up, we will come back to this moment.

We will enjoy each other’s company and talk openly and honestly about our anxiety and how it makes us feel.

We will hold each other’s hands and ask God to give us peace in our hearts as we continue to navigate these trying times.

And I promise, that we will get through every tough day and obstacle that comes before us.

TOGETHER.