Be The Kind Kid

It’s powerful and simply stated right?

I’d like to share my experience from Friday’s field trip because it was one I will never forget. One that truly showed me how every child can #bethekindkid in different ways.

Before I go into my story I’d like to share a little background on how #bethekindkid started and how those famous shirts came about!

In our school district, the #bethekindkid mission originated from a group of students in second grade wanting to start an after school “making” club. This “club” makes #bethkindkid shirts and they donate profits to causes of their choice. Since then, it has grown to a group of over 50 students grades K-6. Many schools and other organizations started taking notice and wanted to join in on #bethekindkid and purchased shirts.

They started selling them online and have now sold over 18,000 shirts! And now every Wednesday it’s officially #wearitwednesday and everyone, including staff, wears their #bethekindkid shirts!

Pretty amazing right!?

Want to hear about something even more amazing!?

Watching and experiencing the kindness of these children with your own eyes!

We went to Phipps Conservatory on Friday for a field trip. Ethan was really enjoying himself looking at all the beautiful flowers and calming waterfalls.

I just love to watch him look at things and experience new surroundings. …

His eyes….

his smiles….

the way his face lights up when he sees something really interesting..

Gosh, I wish I could see the world through his eyes for just one day. …

SO much beauty ….

We continued throughout the field trip and he participated with his peers in an interactive bee show.

He loved it!!

I mean he got to get out of his seat, jump up and down flapping his hands like “wings” on a bee and go “buzzzzz” “buzzzzz” “buzzzz”

He was happy as could be!

After the “bee show” we took a drive to a nearby park for all of the students to eat lunch together and play on their large playground.

Ethan was so excited to be having a “picnic” and then playing with his friends at the huge park!

During our time at the park I got to witness multiple … ok more than that …

I got to witness MANY interactions between Ethan and his peers.

Now this is not something new for me but Friday was different. I was extremely aware of everything going on around us because we were in a public setting … we weren’t at school or on a small playground with 2 or 3 friends..

This was probably 80 plus kids with teachers, paraprofessionals and other staff… so it was crowded busy!!

But in the craziness of it all, I got to see first hand how these kids truly practice being the kind kid.

At one point, Ethan was trying to climb up a slide and he was really struggling at the top…

I let him try multiple times before he got too frustrated then I helped give him a little boost to get him to the top. Once he reached the top there were 2 classmates standing up there cheering for him saying “good job Ethan!” And then gave him big high fives!!

Insert teary eyes here… how sweet right?

He continues to play and I follow close by with his amazing aide, Ashley. ( or as Bubba likes to call her “H” )

The next piece of equipment Ethan climbed on he wasn’t able to get down. He was nervous and too afraid to jump down by himself because it was a little too high for him.

I asked him if he wanted help and he said yes. As I walked over, the other children were standing there saying “it’s ok bubba” and “you got this!” I smiled and said thank you to them and I helped him down.

As soon as I placed Ethan down, this sweet boy looked at Ethan and said “bubba that was so brave. I’m so proud of you”

I’m pretty sure my heart melted all over the ground! Literally, big tears filled my eyes as I was taken aback by how incredibly kind and sweet ALL of the kids were to Ethan that day…

And not just to Ethan, but ALL of their peers. I just happened to pay extra attention to these few moments that filled my heart with so much joy.

As we were getting ready to get in our car to go home, Braidan (Ethan’s twin brother) noticed Ethan’s shoe was untied. So he said “oh here buddy, let me help you” and bent down and tied his shoe laces.

I could not be more humbled and proud.

Friday brought me so much peace and happiness knowing that my children go to a school with a great group of peers.

I am so grateful for the teachers and other staff members within our district for not only teaching kindness but making it a priority within the classroom and the curriculum they use every single day.

And a big thank you to my fellow parents for teaching your children respect and raising them with kindness in their hearts!

I think it’s safe to say that we are all doing a great job at raising happy children who truly know how to #bethekindkid

Motherhood….

It’s one of the hardest yet rewarding jobs in the entire world…

Isn’t it?

I am blessed to be the mom of 3 beautiful, amazing, smart and kind hearted children..

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been a mom for almost 17 years now…

And in that time, I’ve worn many hats and have experienced highs and lows I could have never imagined…

But I think we probably all do..

We do sleepless nights…

And teething babies…

Midnight trips to the local store ..

We kiss boo boos and give big hugs..

We snuggle when they need us…

And from the infant/toddler stage to teenage years, you find yourself being a nurse, a taxi driver, a cheerleader, a teacher, a therapist, a coach, an advocate ….

and one of a heck of a mama bear!

And along this motherhood journey, I’ve been told many things over the years.

But it wasn’t until our son was diagnosed with autism that things people say to me started to change…

Sometimes good…

Sometimes not so good…

And there are certain phrases that I hear often…

Ok, maybe a lot.

Most of them being sincere and coming from a place of love and respect..

And I wanted to share this one tonight …

“ He is so lucky to have you as his mom. ”

I appreciate this more than words can say…

Truly, I really do.

But honestly…

I AM THE LUCKY ONE ..

I have a son who has taught me so much about life, love, kindness, perseverance and acceptance.

I get to watch him grow up with two supportive siblings who absolutely adore him.

I enjoy cheering him on with his daddy standing next to me when he reaches a new goal.

I get to see videos and pictures of the progress he’s making in school and I cry tears of joy every single time.

I love to watch him as he lights up a room with that adorable smile and his funny personality!

My son brings out the best in people and that makes me so incredibly proud.

I am forever grateful that he has helped me find my greater purpose in life and how to give back to others even when we’re struggling.

I am his go to….

I am his lap to sit on when he needs calm. ..

I am his safe place…

And I am his mom…

I AM THE LUCKY ONE.

Dear autism dads,

I see you…

I see you helping your son learn a new word in speech therapy. ..

I see you at 3am laying with him until he falls back asleep..

I see you attending the IEP meetings and listening intently as they talk about strengths and goals…

I see you leaving work early when you get the call from school that he is having a hard day…

I see you working double shifts to pay for extra therapies that insurance doesn’t pay for …

I see you helping your son in the bathroom because he still needs assistance with daily living skills. ..

I see you helping your son swing the bat during his Miracle League game and then proudly run next to him to first base..

I see you holding your son as he has a meltdown and you try to comfort him and keep him safe …

I see you hugging your spouse or partner and whispering in their ear that everything is going to be ok…

I also see you hurting…

I see you holding back the tears on the hard days…

I see you feeling alone…

Quiet …

I see you wondering…

Not really knowing if any other dad can relate to you…

I see you feeling defeated…

Worried…

Scared…

Invisible …

But you know what I REALLY see???

YOU.

An amazing dad who is there for his child through EVERYTHING. ..

The good,

the bad,

the ugly ..

and everything in between!

I see a dad who NEVER gives up.

A dad who is in the trenches and fighting the good fight with us…

A dad who would do absolutely anything to provide for his family and make sure his child has everything they need to succeed in life.

I see a dad who is Strong..

Encouraging …

Uplifting..

Brave …

THANK YOU for being an active part of your child’s life. ..

For setting examples of how to be a good man…

A good dad…

Thank you for all that you do day in and day out…

It does not go unnoticed. ..

And You are NOT invisible …

You are DADDY …

And that means everything in his eyes!

I am so incredibly proud of you. .

Your son is proud of you. ..

And you should be too.

Love,

An autism mom who sees YOU

Dear Mama,

Please know that you are not alone. ..

There are many of us out there feeling

Defeated …

Overwhelmed …

Exhausted…

Questioning our decisions and if we are doing enough…

Feeling broken and like every day you’re trying to put the pieces back together …

Constantly feeling like you can’t possibly get through another tough day …

Just thinking about it starts to consume you and tears start filling your eyes…

Please trust me when I say …

“I get it “

I’m in the trenches with you …

I’m fighting the good fight right beside you…

I’m in your corner not letting you give up …

I’m crying with you sitting on your living room floor…

I’m hugging you and reassuring you that you WILL get through this…

I’m holding your hands and praying with you, asking Him to give you strength when you are feeling weak. ..

As moms, I think we feel things more intensely than most.

Sometimes I think it’s a blessing and a curse…

But one thing I know for certain …

Is that we NEVER give up …

We keep going…

We keep pushing through the hard days…

We keep swimming even though the current seems to be pulling us in the opposite direction…

So if you’re reading this and today is one of those days …

I want you to repeat after me…

“I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN”

Now take a good look in the mirror and know that the person staring back at you is NOT failing …

YOU are doing an amazing job..

YOU are a good mom…

And you will get through this..

You are stronger than you think my friend ..

And this too shall pass ..

Sending you lots of love,

Christina

A few months back you might remember me sharing our experience at the movie theatre. We were going to see How To Train Your Dragon 3. Ethan LOVES those movies and he was super excited! We went, we tried, and Ethan and I were in the hallway for the whole movie. And it’s OK because he still had fun! We laughed, we played and met nice people 🙂

Today, we tried the movies again! Yep, we went back to the same theater to see The Lion King!

Bubba LOVES The Lion King! We watch the Disney original multiple times a week ha ha! (And I don’t mind because it’s one of my favorites! )

So when Ethan saw the preview for the new Lion King movie he started jumping up and down saying “I see!” so how could we not go to the theater and try again?! He was SO excited!!

We let him pick where he wanted to sit. He sat with his Lion King bucket full of popcorn and was as happy as could be! The previews weren’t too long so thank goodness for that!

As the movie was getting ready to start we took this picture! Just look at the joy on his sweet little face. It doesn’t get any better than that!!

After the movie started he wanted to sit on my lap. I never mind snuggle time because it doesn’t happen that often. And I know there might come a time he doesn’t want to any more so I’ll take it when I can get it!

And there he sat…

happy…

content…

holding my hands …

and taking it all in.

He got a little upset after the sad part with Mufasa and asked to go home. …But we took a minute to talk and I reminded him of all the happy parts coming up and the songs he loves to dance to!

He got through it … and we stayed!

I wanted to share this because this is a HUGE deal! A BIG WIN in our world!

And so many times things don’t work out… we change plans… we leave.. or go home. But we NEVER give up trying!

Autism is tricky … we are constantly learning and growing together. You never know what kind of day you’re going to have… or how things will go when you make plans…

But one thing I DO know… we will never stop going out. We will never let autism define our son. We will never choose to stay home because “it’s too hard”

I’m not saying it’s easy! And it might not be good every time…

But we will never stop trying!

Our bubba deserves to enjoy the world around him just like everyone else. And I want the world to meet our bubba and see the joy he brings to every single person he meets!

Kids are curious… They want to know everything about everything right?

They look, they touch, they point and they ask A LOT of questions! And it’s up to us as their parents to help educate them about the world around them.

How many of you reading this were brought up talking and learning about people with disabilities?

How many of you were told “don’t stare” when you pass someone in a wheelchair? Or when you asked your parents about someone who was different than you they’d answer back “oh, he’s special”

Any of these sound familiar???

So how do we stop that?

How do WE do better? What can we do as parents, caregivers, family members and neighbors to end the fear of talking about disabilities?

What if we started by educating ourselves?

AND educating our children?

What if we all talked openly about disabilities?

What if we talk about what makes each and every one of us different and unique?

Because truly …. we really are ALL different … with different strengths and abilities … different ways of talking… different ways of walking and getting from one place to another… different ways of seeing, communicating, eating, writing…

Every single one of us has things we are good at, things we struggle with, things that we need help with and things that we aren’t able to do at all!

And… We DO have some things in common… disability or not … we are ALL human beings.

We love, we laugh, we feel, we cry…

We want to have a happy life filled with family and friends!

We want to live life to the best of our abilities filled with joy and surrounded by people who love and support us right?

Take this picture for example… When I look at this picture I see me and my sweet Bubba!

I don’t see autism… I don’t see disability…

I see a sweet boy loving his time with his mommy in the hallway at the movie theatre. I see a boy who is happy and trying to make his mommy laugh!

And I hope that’s what you see too!

We live in a big world my friends… a world where we are constantly judged no matter what we do, how we act, or what we look like..

But I truly believe if we start educating ourselves and our children early on… one by one people will be more accepting of one another.

So the next time you see someone with a disability or someone who may seem “different” , use that as an opportunity to break the cycle.

Practice kindness.

Offer a helping hand.

Let’s help our children understand that we need to embrace our differences.

Answer their questions to the best of your ability. Don’t shrug them off. Don’t ignore them.

Educate them!

Show them how we treat everyone with respect.

And last but not least …..

Instead of saying “don’t stare” …

Teach them to SMILE and say “hello”

Where do I even start? We’ve been friends since we were 15! I remember starting at a new Highschool and coming home to tell my mom about you. I know you think it’s just because of your good looks 😉 but there’s so much more to you than what’s on the outside.

I’m sure if you would have told us then that we would end up married and with 3 kids we’d probably think you’re crazy ha ha! But as many people know, you’ve had my heart since this picture.

Fast forward a few years to Selena’s baptism….. I will never forget this day. You came home from the Army to be there for her special day! It meant so much to me to have you there.

Fast forward to 2009. … the day we said I do! Not only did we say our vows to each other that day, you got down on one knee and promised to be the best dad to Selena. You had all of us in tears with your sweet words …

And of course you finished it off by making us all laugh telling her she can’t date until she’s 40! Ha ha!

And since that day, you have done just that… you have been not only an amazing husband, but the most caring, giving, understanding, loving and supportive dad I’ve ever seen.

And then in 2011, we went from a family of 3 to a family of 5! Ethan and Braidan arrived and made our family complete.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it has been one heck of a ride! But it’s all been worth it!

From beach vacations, to soccer, to cheerleading competitions, to flag football, to basketball and more, we are doing it all together!

And in 2014 when we received Ethan’s autism diagnosis, we got through it. We continue to work together to give him what he needs and the therapies and services to help him. We don’t let it define him but instead we celebrate what makes him our “bubba”

With endless doctor appointments, therapies, different hospital stays, meetings and more… I know you’re supporting him 100%.

I know we both have our tough days and he does too… but I know that no matter what, you’ll be there right by his side… right by my side.

You are the perfect example of what a Dad should be. You are one of the hardest working men I know and you will do anything to support our family.

You love with your whole heart and you make us so incredibly proud. Your strength and commitment to our family means more to me than you will ever know. You are our rock. You are the glue that holds us together and keeps us strong.

I love that our children are being raised to be kind, good hearted, and loving people. You help set the example of true love, marriage, and parenting. I hope and pray that our boys grow up to be good men just like you. And that Selena will find someone who loves her and treats her how you treat me… with love, patience and respect.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being YOU. For being the most amazing Dad to our children and for giving us a happy home filled with love.

I know that no matter what life throws our way, we will get through it together. .. .

We always do..

I love you babe. Happy Fathers Day!

When you have a child who is nonverbal or has very limited speech like our son, you’re constantly thinking of ways to keep them safe! Especially when they’re not able to communicate. So we are always looking for different resources and different tools that can help us and help him!

The question that is always on our minds…. What can We do to make sure our bubba is safe???

How do we keep him safe at school?

How do we keep him safe at home?

How do keep him safe in public?

How do we keep him safe in the car?

And that’s where this little gem comes in….

This is a medical alert seatbelt cover that we bought on Amazon! It alerts first responders that he has autism, is not able to communicate, may resist help, and may run away.

This information is VERY important if we are in an accident and I’m hurt badly/unresponsive! This allows people to take care of him and keep him SAFE knowing these things about him.

We’ve been asked many times about this seatbelt cover. Any time someone sees it they talk about how amazing it is and how great that things like this exist! And I agree!

And what good is it if I don’t SHARE it with all of you!? Any time I get new resources or something else that has helped our son or makes life a little easier… I always love to pass it along!

We are on this journey TOGETHER and we need to support each other. If you’re looking for a seatbelt cover like this or one that’s similar, you can find them on Amazon.com and type in medical alert seatbelt cover. I hope this helps you and please feel free to share with anyone you think would benefit from this.

Safety first!

I had the privilege of speaking at my son’s school last week and it was AMAZING. It’s something I have done for the past few years and I plan to do it for as long as I am able!

This year, I read a book called Artie Is Awesome! If you haven’t read it, you can find it on Amazon. This book is written perfectly with great examples of what autism looks/feels like, how to be a good friend, and it has really cute funny parts too! I HIGHLY recommend this book for all young children and families to enjoy together. (Great for children preschool age to 3rd grade!)

We always pick a day during April for Autism Awareness Month and the kids really look forward to it! For our family, we live and breath autism awareness! But what I love about spreading autism awareness in school, is that these young children are learning early on that everyone is unique and different in their own special way. They’re learning and growing with each other every day!

They are so eager to learn and listen to everything you’re saying to them! I read them the Artie is Awesome book and I talked about what autism is, what that can feel like, and how people with autism have to work really hard to do things that we can do.

I explained how Ethan has a team of people in his life that help him every single day. There are therapists to help him talk, run, write, stay safe, and more! We talked about how difficult things can be for him and why it’s so important that we have people to help him through the tough times.

I also took time to answer questions they had and boy did they have some good ones! It always amazes me how smart they are and how they truly want to understand the world around them.

After we finished talking about why autism awareness is important, we then discussed autism acceptance. We talked about what the word acceptance means and how we can be more accepting of our friends with autism!

This conversation went REALLY well! They all had a pretty good idea of what acceptance means and how they can be good friends. And that’s what it’s all about!

I ended by saying that it is important to be accepting of our friends with autism, but it’s super important to be accepting of ALL of our friends! We are all special and unique in our own way and we should love each other for who we truly are.

Obviously by these adorable pictures his friends definitely accept him 🙂

They love Bubba just as much as we do. And these pictures make my heart explode!

I wanted to share this because I believe autism acceptance starts with US!

I’d like you to take time to talk with your children, read books, share stories, and ask questions! Take time to learn, educate yourself and your loved ones. Not just during autism awareness month, but every day! The more we are aware the more acceptance we will see.

Knowledge is power…

A few days ago a friend and fellow autism mom, Kate (Finding Coopers Voice) shared something really tough…

She shared that her son started hitting … and she wasn’t sure what to say… she wasn’t sure if she should share what happened. ..

As I sat there reading her words I instantly started crying…. One of the main reasons I love to follow Kate and their autism journey with Cooper is because she is real…. she’s raw. She shares the good, the bad, the scary and the silly… She shares ALL aspects of autism and I have so much respect for her because of it.

It’s tough to talk about the hard stuff… it’s tough to talk about the bad days… the behaviors… the stares/comments … the self injurious behaviors, the anxiety … and it’s extremely difficult when your child hits.. whether it’s themselves, you, their sibling…

IT. IS. HARD.

And as Kate mentioned on her page… we don’t want our children to be labeled as “monsters”… or worse.

Because they’re not!

I wanted to write and share our experience with hitting because I want Kate to know that she is NOT alone….

I want YOU to know that you are not alone!

Ethan, our Bubba, is one of the sweetest and kindest boys you’ll ever meet. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He loves to laugh, he loves to play, and loves when people around him are happy too!

But sometimes… it happens….

He hits….

It can be during a melt down… it could be when he’s overwhelmed or overstimulated by something around him, when he’s upset or angry….. or when he can’t communicate with us…. and sometimes it happens when he’s happy!

Yes, even when he’s happy!

But no matter why or when it happens.. it startles you…. It kind of stops you in your tracks…

And more times than not…. it stops him too…

He gets this look on his face of sadness…. confusion…. a sort of “what just happened” look…

And it breaks your heart into a thousand pieces..

How I wish so badly I could get inside his little head and understand exactly what’s going on so I can help him more. ..

Unfortunately we can’t do that …

But what we CAN do is help them through it the best way we can. .. be there for them… offer our support….. our love, our time.

Different things work for different people. Sometimes we take a break in a quiet area or spend time in his sensory room. We let him know we are there for him. We also try to think about what happened right before the hitting and try to see if we can figure out why it may have happened.

I wish there was a right answer but the truth is, we do our best. We try new things and we do whatever we can to help them and keep them safe.

I think it’s important for us to talk about the hard stuff and that’s why I wanted to share this today. …..

But always remember that our children NEED us…. they LOVE us… and we love them more than anything! We might not always understand how or why certain things happen, but we are their hugs and kisses… their calm… and their comfort. We are their safe place. ..

Never forget that.